Traitorous
by Leafy08
Summary: Allan/ Will 'You'd be just like you are now, but you would have friends Allan.’ A nasty little voice in the back of his head said, ‘But now you've got nothing and they’ve all given you up for a traitor, even Will.'
1. Beginnings

_A/N Unfortunately I don't own any of this, except maybe the dog... and even then I may have a few problems proving legal ownership. But on with the Story._

**Chapter 1 – Beginnings**

Allan shivered and pulled his cloak closer around him as the rain pounded down around him. It thudded into the leaf litter like a drumbeat, constant, real, grounding. Allan needed grounding; his thoughts kept wandering back unbidden to that fateful night when Robin had discovered his traitorous behaviour. He had pleaded with Robin. Tried to make him understand how it had come to this. But no, Robin in his piety could never understand the inner workings of a conman like himself.

He'd wondered since what had made him risk one of the few things that had turned out good in his life so far. It had been the money, he'd decided, the security of having something to fall back on. How did they know that King Richard would even come back from the Holy Land? What if he got sick? Or got an infection from a wound? The King could die, he was just as human as the rest of England, and then Allan would be stuck in the woods forever, with no chance of a pardon or a better life. Sure, he was fighting for the country – bringing hope to the people – but ever since he was little, he'd only known how to look out for himself and habits are hard to break.

What would he be doing now, if he hadn't thrown his life away? 'Just what you are now, but you would have friends with you.' A nasty little voice in the back of his head said, 'But now you have nothing, they've all given you up for a traitor, even Will.'

Allan winced as memories of Will surfaced, he'd been his best friend, brothers in arms they were, had been. After he lost Tom, Will had been there for him, showing him that he hadn't lost one brother. He didn't know when it had happened, when Allan's love for his friend had become something deeper, something confusing and new. Because Allan loved Will; and not in the way he should love a brother.

It went against everything he'd been brought up believing, but he didn't think it was wrong. How could the tingles he felt whenever Will looked at him be wrong? How could loving those warm brown eyes, beautiful smile and talented hands be wrong?

Nevertheless, Allan sighed because although _he_ realised that nothing about loving Will was wrong, not everyone would see it that way. This was why he was always leering at pretty girls and lying about his nighttime escapades in town, because all he ever did really was drink and wallow and think of Will. This was why he pretended to be looking at Djaq out of the corner of his eye, because he wasn't watching her, he was watching Will's hands as they carved out new wonders.

'They're better off without you.' That voice again, taunting him, as he lay huddled beneath a tree, the only shelter he'd been able to find from the torrential rain.

"I'm always in the shade," he murmured against his cold fingers, "Never in the sun."

Will shifted around on his bunk as he listened to the rain as it fell upon the roof of the gang's hideout. His mind kept repeating the events of the last few days over and over again; the revelation that there was a traitor in their midst, Robin's discovery that it was Allan, Allan being banished from the gang, finding Allan trying to steal from them and him begging to be let back into the group.

Although Allan had tried to explain his actions but no one had listened, he'd appealed to each of them by name but still they'd cursed him a traitor and chased him off. He could remember the look of desperation and loss in Allan's eyes as he'd turned to Will and said, "Will, please..."

Will turned over so that he was facing the wall and began to drift off to sleep, his thoughts reverberating with Allan's pleas for forgiveness.

It was still cold when Allan woke up, but the rain clouds had disappeared leaving the sun able to warm the world. His stomach was growling loudly and Allan sighed knowing there was nothing much he could do to fix that. All he had was his dagger, the rest of his belongings were still with the gang. Allan stood up and leant against the tree that he'd been using for shelter the past few nights. He was still soaking wet and freezing cold and was starting to wish he'd thought of protecting some firewood from the rain.

He wondered what the others were doing back at the camp. 'Probably celebrating the removal of a traitor from their midst.' He thought, wishing that the thought could be dismissed as false. 'They're probably sitting warm and comfortable, wishing that they'd killed me already.' He shook his head trying to stop thoughts of the gang from entering his mind, since thoughts of that kind often lead to thoughts of Will.

A rustle from the bushes to his left startled Allan out of his thoughts and he drew his dagger. He stepped quietly towards the noise, which was getting louder. He heard a snuffling and then a slim grey muzzle poked out of the bush, followed by a set of large brown eyes and grey ears that were twitching every which way. Allan laughed.

"C'mere doggy, come on." He crouched down and clicked his fingers, but the animal only growled, "Okay, not doggy, wolf maybe?" The dog lowered its head and stared at him, still growling. Allan began to back off slowly, "Nice dog. Good dog."

The wolf followed Allan, step for step, their eyes were focused on one another's. He was starting to get worried, because in the end, all he had was a dagger and the dog had a mouth of sharp teeth and claws. Then Allan noticed something strange about the way the dog was walking, it was, really, limping. It was favouring its right front paw, never letting it touch the ground for too long. Throwing caution to the wind Allan shuffled forward, making soothing noises.

"Come on dog, let me have a look at that paw," he carefully reached out towards the dog. He was surprised, and quite relieved when the dog glanced away and whined, lifting its paw and extending it towards him. He reached out to take it and immediately felt the prick of a thorn.

"Looks like you've got yourself a thorn there." He proceeded to extract the thorn carefully, all the while trying to avoid noticing the large claws that were only a hairs breadth away from his hand. "There you go." Allan quickly backed away so as to be out of range of the dog's paws. "Well go on, off you go dog. I'm sure you have a master somewhere looking for you." The dog just lay down and began to lick its paw, paying no attention to him.

Allan stood up again and began to walk through the trees, glancing from side to side in the hopes of finding something he could eat. He briefly glanced behind him and was surprised to see the dog following him.


	2. Nettlestone

**Chapter 2 – Nettlestone**

Will sat up and stretched, yawning loudly as he blearily regarded the camp. Robin was standing near the edge of the clearing, talking to Much as he cooked the breakfast over the camp fire. John was nowhere to be seen, which meant he was probably sitting by himself somewhere thinking of Alice and his son. Djaq was sitting in the bunk across from him, looking out at the world with the same newly woken up look that he assumed he had on at the moment as well.

"Morning sleepy heads!" Much called from the fire, "Breakfast will be ready soon."

"What are we having?" Djaq asked sleepily, as she got up and walked over to sit next to Much.

"Squirrel?" Robin asked as he too walked over to the fire to get breakfast.

That earned him a glare from Much and he said indignantly, "It is not. It's chicken, I would never resort to cooking rodents."

"Doesn't smell like chicken," said Little John as he walked into the clearing, "Doesn't look like it either."

"Come on Will!" Robin called, "It's not like you to be last up in the mornings."

"Yeah, I'm coming." Will called back, before mumbling softly, "That's because Allan always got up after me."

The thought of Allan brought back the same sharp pang of sadness he had felt the last few nights. But Will buried the emotion behind the wall of hunger he was experiencing. It was never good to think serious thoughts before breakfast. He clambered out of bed and went to get his share of Much's 'chicken' dish.

"So Gang, I thought that we might visit Locksley this morning and see what has been happening, check the village for anyone else who we might need to add to our list of deliveries." Robin said through a mouthful of food, "Then this afternoon we had best head over to Nettlestone."

"Why Nettlestone?" Much asked, "It's furthest away."

"Exactly Much, we don't want the poor people of Nettlestone to think that Robin Hood's abandoned them." Robin replied.

"What about Allan?" Djaq asked softly.

"What about that traitor?" John practically yelled, "Why must we bother ourselves with that good for nothing..."

John was cut off by Robin, "Yes Djaq, what about him?"

"Well it's just, I mean, are we just going to leave him out there in the forest? All he has is a dagger, how is he going to survive?" Djaq said quickly, "It's been so cold lately."

John and Much both opened their mouths quickly but Robin beat them to it, "Djaq I know you cared for Allan, we all did, but he betrayed us. He should have thought about the consequences of his actions before he became Gisbourne's little spy. He is nothing to us now, he isn't our responsibility anymore."

"Let him die, for all we care." Much said sternly.

"Him, I do not like." John growled.

While they had been talking Will had just sat there, listening, thinking over a similar conversation they'd had once with Allan. Before he could stop himself, he had echoed Allan's own words softly, "Doesn't family deserve a second chance?"

They all turned to stare at him and Robin spoke for everyone when he said, "Not after what he did."

It was nearing nightfall when Allan and the dog finally found somewhere to lay down and sleep that was sheltered in any way. As Allan clambered into the cave he thought of the events of the day. He thought that the dog must be an escaped hunting dog, it was very well trained and the only thing it didn't seem to understand was 'go away'. At one point in that day he had thought he'd actually got rid of it, but it had turned up soon enough with a rabbit in its mouth. He had grudgingly accepted that maybe the dog did have some usefulness.

Earlier that day Allan had been wandering around in the forest near Nettlestone; mainly because it was far from Robin's camp. He'd hoped that they wouldn't come this far over for a couple of days, giving him time to collect himself and work out where he would go now. But his luck had run out again, he'd just sat down to finish of the rabbit from lunch when the dog had stood up and growled. Thinking that maybe the dog had heard soldiers he'd crept into some undergrowth with the dog crouching next to him just in time to avoid the riders that went trotting past.

But the riders were no soldiers; Allan would have recognised that dark messy hair anywhere.  
"Will," he'd whispered softly, his eyes not leaving the young man. He had almost stepped out to speak to him before his mind reminded him that the rest of the gang would not enjoy seeing him. His eyes had followed Will's retreating form and he'd felt himself longing for even the easy friendship that had once thrived between the two of them. He remembered the many nights that they had spent by the fire, the whole gang, just talking about the lives they were leading. He would sit there, jealously looking at Will and Djaq, and wish that it could have be him that Will so obviously loved. And then Djaq would look up and see him watching them and would laugh and ask what he was staring at. He'd look away, but not before he caught Will's eye and smiled. It had been times like that, those questioning glances and knowing smiles, that had left him feeling that Will knew how he felt and returned the feeling. And he would make silly comments or tell an outrageous lie just to make Will laugh and when he did, Allan would love him all the more.

Allan's thoughts had been interrupted by a cold nose being pressed against his neck. He'd turned, startled, to see the dog giving him a look which could only be described as confused.

"I'm not being funny, but you're getting a little too dependent dog." Allan had said sternly. The dog had merely given a soft bark and trotted back out into the clearing, checking behind him to make sure Allan was following. "Yeah yeah, I'm coming."

"We need to work out where we're going to go now dog." Allan had said as he resumed his position  
on the floor of the clearing. "We can't hang around here for much longer. Sooner or later either Hood or the Sheriff will find us and we'll be dead either way." Allan had looked to the dog, and then laughed at himself. "I'm talking to a dog, what next?"

The dog had given a bark and sat up, wagging its tail, which had caused Allan to laugh harder. "Oh so now you can understand me?" The dog had barked again at Allan's comment, "I think that we should hang around Sherwood for a couple more days though, just in case, you know, something happens."

'Just in case you see Will again you mean?' That voice in the back of his head again. 'He could never love a traitor like you.'

"I know, but that doesn't stop me loving him." Allan had whispered sadly to himself before standing up to search for somewhere to spend the night.

Allan was jolted back to the present by the dog giving a soft whine and walking over to curl up next to him. Allan smiled as the dog tucked itself up into a ball and lay down, sharing the dog's warmth. "I guess you do have your uses after all." He said before drifting off to a sleep filled with dreams of Will.

Will was again lying restless on his bunk thinking about Allan. Why had he plagued his mind all day? Every time something had happened Will found he would think about what Allan would have done or said. It got so bad that at one point when they had been riding out near Nettlestone, he thought he heard Allan say "Will".

He was confused by his feelings towards the other man. He felt such a strong feeling of betrayal and dislike for Allan for what he had done to the rest of them. He had thought Allan was his best friend and brother and sometimes, though he would never admit to anyone, he would catch Allan staring at him over the fire and he would feel a strong rush of affection for the other man. He had trusted Allan with his life, but Allan had betrayed that trust. And Although Will still felt that affection sometimes when he thought of Allan, it was blackened by the sense of treachery that overlaid all his thoughts of his former friend.

It was those times that he felt that he hated Allan for how he had ruined their brothership, friendship... love.

That last thought shocked Will, because he had never thought to call his feelings towards Allan that. It was something reserved for men and women, not him and Allan, but now that the thought had surfaced it would not go away.


	3. Thief

_A.N. I do not own anything, well except for the dog and the plot at times. Sorry it took awhile with the nest chapter, internet has been down_._ I have changed the rating after giving some consideration as to where the story is going and I don't think anything is going to happen to warrant an 'M' rating, if this changes, obviously the rating will as well. Read on!_

**Chapter 3 – Thief**

After seeing Will yesterday Allan was torn between staying in Sherwood and leaving the area completely. Part of him knew that there should be nothing keeping him here, he didn't have any friends, at least none who returned the feeling, so he shouldn't have felt any responsibility towards the forest or the outlaws who lived in it.

But he did. And this was what confused him, because Allan had never felt guilty or tried to redeem himself, he just lived his life as it came. If something went wrong he upped and left. But this time he was finding making that decision hard to make. He felt guilty for betraying his friends' trust, a trust that had been so freely given. The sudden loss of it had made him realise how much he had grown accustomed to being trusted after years of deceit.

Allan knew though that they did not trust him now, they could not. But they had once and that was what was keeping Allan here. Some part of him wanted to prove to them, to Will, that their trust had been well founded. He wanted to go back to how things had been before, he craved for that life, the longing hurt him deep in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to be given the chance to explain and for them to understand.

Save his own skin. That was something that he had lived by since he was little and it had been that survival instinct that had made him a traitor. It was that survival instinct that had lost him Will's friendship and he wanted to change it. The thought of leaving hurt even more than the thought of staying, even though leaving may have eventually brought peace.

"Come on dog," He said softly as he stood up and pulled out his hunting knife, "Let's see if we can earn ourselves that trust back."

The dog rose and followed him as he began to walk further into the forest. "Let's go hunting."

Will let out a sigh and shifted again on the horse that he was sitting on. They hadn't actually ridden for terribly long, Locksley was the closest village to the camp, but they had been waiting for ages for the all clear from John and Djaq. Being the current residence of Gisbourne, Locksley was also one of the most dangerous villages and was teeming with guards. It was bad enough waiting around for so long, but to top it all off Will's thoughts kept returning to Allan. His thoughts had been overflowing with the man since his betrayal, and his realisation last night that his feelings for him might run deeper than friendship hadn't helped. He still didn't trust him and he was still angry with him for what he had done, but underneath all of that he did love him.

A sharp trilling whistle startled him out of his thoughts and he began to move forward upon recognising the signal for "coast clear". Robin and Much appeared out of the trees to his right and the three of them soon found Djaq and John near the edge of the forest.

"Let's go feed the poor!" Robin said while grinning and climbing down from his horse, "You know the deal, stick in groups of two and three..."

"Yes we know master," Much cut him off, huffing, "We're not children, we've done this before."

"Many times before," said Little John as he began handing out the parcels of food to the outlaws to distribute.

Robin just laughed at the grumpy look on his manservant's face, "Djaq, Will and John you stay together and Much you stick with me."

They slunk down to the village, clutching the parcels of food to their chests. Will headed off in one direction with Djaq and John, turning to grin and wave at Robin and Much who were heading for the other side of the village.

Allan sighed as he began to make his way down towards the village of Locksley, he had left the dog at the edge of the forest with explicate instructions to stay. He and the dog had managed to catch a brace of rabbits earlier, which was enough to some of the poorest people of the village and one left over for his supper. He was still berating himself for coming to Locksley village, if Robin was here, or if Gisbourne found him, he was probably dead. But when the hunt had ended, this village had been the closest and he had been too tired to change his direction as he had begun walking towards the village.

He pulled his hood back as he entered the village, trying to fit in. He glanced around looking for the houses that he knew were the worst off. He walked casually around waiting for people's backs to be turned before leaving the rabbits where they would be found.

He was nearing about halfway but stopped suddenly when he saw a basket of food sitting in the next house's front yard. He cursed softly under his breath, Robin was here, a stray thought reminded him that that meant Will was here too and he glanced around quickly for the dark haired man. He couldn't see anyone, Will or Robin and he still had his rabbits left so he thought it would be best if he left them with the rest of the food. With one last look around he walked casually over to the basket and was just placing the rabbit down when he heard a yell from behind him.

He leapt around and saw Robin and Much sprinting towards him bellowing. He snatched up his rabbit and ran.

Awhile later John was smiling happily as they delivered the last bundle of food. Will knew that John enjoyed helping people, especially women and children. He guessed it had something to do with him feeling like he hadn't look after his own wife and child well enough. Will guessed it made him feel like he was repenting in a way, redeeming himself.

They were walking down a side street heading towards where they were going to meet Much and Robin. Robin's voice rang out suddenly, coming from the main street, "Thief! Traitor! Quick Much, get him!"

Will looked up quickly and glanced around confused and saw Djaq and John looking up too. He started to move towards the main street, John and Djaq close behind him.

"What is Robin doing?" Djaq hissed, "He'll get us found out!"

"Maybe he's in trouble?" John asked, "We have to go help him. If they catch Robin he'll hang!"

"Come on Will!" Djaq said as she grabbed his sleeve and dragged him out into the street just as a blonde man went careering past.

That wasn't any old blonde haired man. That was Allan. Will froze. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, and his breathing was coming in short sharp gasps. All he could think was 'Allan. Allan. Allan.'

Robin's voice broke through his stupor, "Get after him! He was trying to take the food!"

John gave an angry yell and raced after Allan, who was clutching a couple of rabbits in one hand. Djaq yelled at him to follow John and then ran to help Robin and Much with the horses.

Will finally came upon them all in clearing, Robin Much and Djaq having caught Allan quicker on the horses. John looked like he had just got there too and was breathing hard. Allan was crouched on the ground, rabbits still in hand. He looked terrible Will realised, like he hadn't been eating properly, and his clothes and hair were filthy from sleeping on the forest's floor. Robin was yelling at Allan brandishing his bow, and yet Allan was just looking into the trees behind Robin. Much was glowering from the side and Djaq was standing holding the horses.

It was Djaq who saw Will first; she smiled and beckoned for him to help her with the horses. Much, Robin and John just glanced at him, the latter giving him a small nod. And then Allan looked over and his eyes met Will's. Will almost gasped at the feeling coursing through him, he know his mouth must've opened because Allan's lips quirked slightly, like he was trying to suppress a smile. Will held his gaze while Robin continued his rant, searching those eyes, wanting to know that he hadn't been stealing, wishing that none of this had happened. Allan looked away, back to the trees behind Robin and his eyes narrowed slightly. Will was watching Allan peer so intently into the trees that he gave a start when he sudden jumped up and yelled, "No!" and flung himself in front of the grey streak that had suddenly jumped at Robin. The streak collided with Allan sending them both tumbling over. Allan stood up pushing, what Will now realised was a dog, off him. The dog let out a loud menacing growl that made the hairs on the back of Will's neck stand up.

Robin raised his bow and said, "What's happening here Allan?"

"My dog," Allan said as he crouched down to scratch it behind its ears to try and calm it down as it growled at Robin, "It caught the rabbits, and I wasn't stealing, I was giving them to the poor."

There was a pause in which Allan gruffly told the dog to stay and walked over to Robin and shoved the rabbits at him, exposing the teeth marks on their necks from where the dog had grabbed them. Robin just looked at him. Will couldn't take his eyes off Allan and he felt a multitude of emotions flowing through him, which escalated when Allan looked up at him, his eyes burning.

Will gulped at the look in Allan's eyes as he stared at Will; it was making him feel weak, like his knees would just give way beneath him and he would collapse against the horse he was holding. He felt a surge of anger towards Allan, who though not a thief was still a traitor, for making him feel so vulnerable and torn. His eyes narrowed into a glare and Allan looked away quickly, but not before Will saw the look of hurt on his face. He dropped the rabbits at Robin's feet and stalked off into the forest, whistling for the dog.

_Now, you all know the deal, reviewing makes writers want to write, so the more you review, the quicker the next part goes up! (Even if you don't want to read the next part, please review anyway because it makes me happy!)_

_xx Leafy_


	4. Confrontations

**Chapter 4 – Aftermath**

As soon as Allan was out of the clearing, he ran, sprinting away from the anger that he had seen in Will's face. The dog ran beside him, yipping occasionally with joy at being away from the man who had wanted to hurt its master.

He pelted through the forest with the dog loping beside him, his muscles began to hurt, but he ran on. He had to get away from those accusing faces, away from Will's hate filled glare, away from the consequences of his mistakes. He had thought that maybe they could forgive him eventually, but today had proved that there was nothing but empty space left between him and his former friends.

Allan collapsed against a tree and leant his forehead against the trunk. He breathed in deeply and exhaled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. He turned around and slid down the tree so he was sitting on the forest floor with his knees clutched to his chest. The dog whined and pressed its nose into his hand.

"I know dog," Allan said softly and the dog wagged its tail at the sound of his voice, "Maybe I just don't belong here anymore. I know I wanted to fix this, prove I could be trusted and be their friend again, but I don't think they want me. Maybe I should just leave now and let them get on with their lives. I'll forget eventually and it'll all be okay."

Allan tried to ignore the possibility that he would never see that tall, lean, brown-haired carpenter with the magic hands again. He failed and it hurt to know that it was probably true. His chest ached deeply as he buried his head in the dog's fur, willing away the tears.

Will just stared at the gap in the trees where he had last seen Allan. What had he done? Why hadn't he been more careful? Allan had been right there in front of him and all he'd done was stare and glare. Allan had been _here_, with the gang, and he hadn't been stealing he'd been helping people. And they had driven him away with their distrustful glances and disgusted looks. A flood of guilt ran through his body and he looked at the ground, blinking quickly to cover the damage the flood had left in its wake.

'Damn Allan, damn him and damn how he makes me feel.' Will thought savagely, forcing his emotions away. 'It's his fault we're even in this situation to begin with.' Will lashed out and kicked a tree next to him, which caused Djaq to look at him worriedly.

He turned away so she wouldn't see the angry tears that were threatening to spill out onto his face. He scrubbed at his eyes and turned back around. He thrust the horses' lead rope that he had been holding at Djaq, who took them silently, and stormed off into the forest.

Will wasn't really paying attention to where he was going, he just needed to get away and think about everything that had happened. Think about what this thing between him and Allan was doing to him. He hated Allan, he missed Allan, and he loved Allan. His emotions were a scramble and seeing Allan today hadn't helped, when he'd first seen Allan run past earlier he hadn't known whether he wanted to kill him or kiss him and he still couldn't decide.

Will thought about heading back to the outlaw's camp, the rest of the gang would be back there by now, but he decided he needed to sort himself out. Sort out the mess that was his emotional state sooner rather than later. He hoped they weren't all waiting for him, wondering where he was. He didn't want them to start asking him questions when he got back – an interrogation was the last thing he needed right now.

Will settled down at the base of a tree and got comfortable. 'You're not leaving here until you've sorted yourself out.' He told himself, 'You won't be able to help Robin if your head's in a mess.'

Back at the camp Robin was pacing as Much angrily went about cooking a meal and the other sat watching.

"I cannot believe him! The nerve! Trying to steal from the poor!" Much declared.

"He said he didn't do it, that the dog caught the rabbits," said Djaq, "I think he was telling the truth."

"How can you side with him Djaq?" Much spat, "Once traitor, always a traitor I say."

"I agree with Much." Said Little John.

"See? The man is a good for nothing traitor. We trusted him Djaq! He sold us out to Gisbourne FOR MONEY!" Much yelled. "I knew from the moment I saw him that he would be trouble."

"Allan A'Dale is a good man, he just needs to realise that himself," Djaq reasoned, "For us to realise-"

"There are no second chances." Robin said, interrupting Djaq, "What Allan does now is of no concern to us as long as he stays away from here and us."

Djaq sighed, sensing the hopelessness in arguing for Allan's goodness. The men would not be made to change their perception of him, their stubbornness saw to that. She glanced around and noticed that Will was not back yet, though she wasn't surprised. The whole ordeal was hitting Will harder than the rest, he and Allan had been close, and Djaq figured that Will just needed time. Time to come to terms with Allan's absence and his betrayal – because Djaq knew Allan to be a good man and she hoped that a day a second chance would be given to him.

Allan eventually got up, pushing the dog off his lap. His eyes were dry and he felt calm, in a way. It was the calmness of knowing exactly what to do next, where to go and who to see, all of that. Allan had made up his mind. He couldn't hang around the forest anymore in the blind hope that all would be forgiven. He had betrayed them, his friends, the only people who had cared about them, for money. He didn't deserve their forgiveness.

"Come on, we'd best get going. We're not wanted here mate and I'm not being funny but I want to leave before Robin comes back to find me and makes good on his promise to kill me." Allan began walking, the dog following tamely beside him. "Maybe we should head to Scarborough. I can think of a few ways a man and his dog could make a living. And most of 'em not particularly...legal."

Allan and his companion headed towards the road that would take them to Scarborough. He spent the time chatting amiably to the dog about his past exploits, a vague attempt to stop himself from reconsidering the course of action. Occasionally he would venture into a story about the gang and Will – but found that it became an increasing struggle to finish it.

"Don't think about it. Him. Them. Him" He muttered softly to himself, "Don't think, don't think, don't think."

Allan's eyes pricked with tears again and he scrubbed at them, willing it to stop. He stopped and looked at the sky, blinking until he regained his self-control.

God he was pathetic.

Will wasn't sure how long he had been sitting at the base of the tree. He couldn't quite make out where the sun was, but he guessed it was late afternoon now. He knew he should start heading back to camp, but he couldn't make himself move. He just sat and stared blankly at the ground directly in front of him – his eyes only seeing Allan's face. He guessed that after today's events he would be lucky if he ever saw Allan again.

Lucky. The implication there was that he wanted to see the man again. And he did, really, deep down he desperately wanted to see Allan again. But at the same time he didn't know if he could bear seeing the man he loved and knowing that things could never, ever be the same.

As Will sat there, eyes searching the dust for answers it would never give, he heard the sound of approaching footsteps and a voice. They were coming towards him. 'Just Djaq' he thought 'Just Djaq and Much coming to check up on him'. He stayed where he was, she could come find him, he didn't want to talk – he hoped she would understand. The footsteps came closer and the voice got louder, but Will paid little attention, his thoughts still centred on Allan. It wasn't until the owner of the footsteps entered the clearing and he heard a sharp intake of breath that Will looked up. And drew in a gasp in response.


	5. Second Chances

_A/N The final chapter. I do not own Robin Hood (or there would have been some serious changes to series 3) or any of the characters. Please read and review! I would really like to know what people thought for future reference._

**Chapter 5 – Confrontations**

Will sat, mouth open and heart hammering, as he looked at the figure in the clearing with him. He couldn't speak. His thoughts were pounding out in rhythm with his heartbeats.

_Allan._

_Allan._

_Allan._

"Allan." The name that passed his lips was only a faint whisper, but Will could tell the other man had heard him.

"Will." Allan murmured in response.

Will didn't know what to say, what to do. He just sat, staring up at Allan now, staring into the soulful blue eyes that were mirroring his own intensity. He heard Allan's dog sit down at its masters feet, but paid it little heed. In every possible scenario he had thought up that involved him seeing Allan again none of them had occurred so soon. His emotions were still raw. Damn it! He could feel the tears welling up again.

"Will... I..." Allan whispered, "I'm sorry"

"You're sorry?" Will asked. "I guess that just... makes it all better then."

"Will, please. I mean it, I'm sorry." Allan answered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"If you're so sorry now, then why the hell did you do it in the first place?" Will could feel anger replacing sorrow.

"I was selfish. I am selfish. I can't help how I am Will. I tried, I really did, to be good people like the rest of you - to follow Robin's example and all. But I'm not like the rest of them; I'm not like you Will." Allan said softly. "I've never deserved your friendship."

"Allan –" Will started, but he couldn't think of what to say. It hurt him to know that Allan had never considered himself as good as the rest of them and he wished Allan had told him before all this had happened so that he could do what he wanted to do now without feeling guilt. He wished he could have hugged Allan and told him it was okay, that he was just as good as the rest of them, that if anything it was Will who hadn't deserved Allan's friendship. But Allan had betrayed him, them. In a way, Allan was right.

Will stood up slowly his shoulders slumped, he felt drained. He couldn't take his eyes away from Allan's – trying in one gaze to convey all he was feeling. Hurt. Pain. Betrayal. Confusion. Love. He tried once more to talk. "Allan. You were... are... I don't..." He sighed and tried again, "You could be a good person. If you had let others help you. If you had let me help you. But now..."

"But now I've betrayed you. And I don't deserve the effort. It's okay Will, I understand." Allan reached out with one hand to touch Will's arm as he spoke and Will found he could not pull away.

"Why did you have to ruin everything?" Will asked, regretting it when Allan broke their gaze and stepped away from him, letting the hand that had been resting on Will's arm fall to his side, "I.. I'm sorry."

Will made to step towards Allan, but the other man just shifted backwards, further away. They stayed like that for a while: Allan staring at his dog and Will staring at Allan until Allan spoke, "I didn't mean to. But there wasn't... I couldn't... What was the point?"

Will blinked, momentarily confused, "What?"

"The point of trying to keep everything the way it was. It wasn't working – for me at least." Allan explained, "I'm sorry Will. My selfishness wouldn't let everything stay the same."

"Allan. I still don't understand. Why wasn't it working being part of the gang, one of Robin Hoods men?" Will didn't know what Allan was getting at, he had a feeling that they were talking about different things, but he couldn't be sure. Even with the sting of the betrayal still present, Allan's presence made it difficult to focus.

"It wasn't the gang. It was never about the gang, I loved being part of the gang." Allan sighed.

"What was it then?" Will asked quietly.

"The lying, to everyone, to myself, but mostly to you. I hated it, always pretending, never a moments peace. Constantly lying to everyone, not being able to tell you." Allan stopped abruptly and finally raised his eyes back to Will's.

As Will held Allan's gaze he felt most of the anger dissipating, the hurt as well. Oh it was still there, but talking to Allan had pushed everything away as his love for the other man burned strongly. He wasn't sure now though whether or not he wanted to hear what Allan had to say. He felt somehow that he owed it to Allan to hear it though, to make up for never noticing that something was wrong with the other man.

"Tell me what Allan?" Will finally asked.

"That I love you."

Allan watched Will closely after he told him. He was surprised not to see cold hate or violent anger mar the other man's expression. Instead, he saw shock. Then pain. Then understanding. Then happiness. He had not expected that. He had not expected any of this.

He had certainly not expected Will to suddenly embrace him or for Will to whisper "I love you too" softly against his ear.

He decided that he would try not to expect anything that would come next. He had been given a second chance.


End file.
